Sailor MST 3000
Life? by redroe23102
It was the summer of 2003,
Tamsyn and Angie were vacationing together, and Em had gone insane. There was nothing to do at home, and no
stories could be begun until either Tami and Angie
were done with their vacation, or Em came back from crazyland. So, one day, Chris found himself overly bored
and reading a particularly bad fanfic when an evil idea came into his
head. What better idea than to throw
some of his characters together, and have them riff a fanfic or two? And so our saga begins...
In the not-too-distant
future, when senshi battled fierce and alone,
An author he got bored one
day, ‘cause there was nothing to do at home.
His days were filled with
washing and stacking,
His nights for amusement his
brain was racking,
So he took his characters out
of the game,
And placed them into MST 3K
fame!
Chris: "I'll send them bad
fanfics, with bad pairings galore!"
(Lavendar: "La la
la!")
"And after they’ve read
them all, I’ll go and find some more!"
(La la la!)
Now keep in mind they can't
control when the stories begin or end
(La la la!)
So after some of these the
laws of decency they might bend...
SAILOR MYST-ROLL CALL!
Ian!
"Tami, no more photos! ::cries::"
‘Dagio! “Looking for a real man, ladies?”
June! "I’m the
responsible adult!"
If you're wondering how they
eat and breathe and other science facts
(Cast: "La la la!")
Then repeat to yourself,
"It's just an RPG, and I should really just relax!"
For Sailor MST 3K!
(twannngg!)
The scene is a dark theater,
with three people sitting in front of a movie screen. ‘Dagio, June and Ian are those seated, the
theater is there to showcase bad fanfiction.
Let’s look in on them, shall we?
June: Are we here for a motion picture show?
Ian: No, June.
We’re here to be subjected to bad fanfiction.
June: Why?
‘Dagio: The author hates us?
Ian: I’d agree with that.
June: Well, Betty says she’d rather see a motion
picture.
‘Dagio: Trust me, we all would. So, what -are- we seeing?
Ian: ::reads the
script:: Apparently it’s called ‘Life?’
by redroe23102.
June: Her parents named her after numbers? You young people and your
modern trends for names. What
ever happened to little girls named Sally and little boys named Bobby?
‘Dagio: The fifties ate them. Anyway, what sort of story is this?
Ian: Harry Potter fanfiction.
‘Dagio: This is a children’s story, why are we all
reading this?
Ian: Hey it’s good! I liked it.
‘Dagio: You would.
June: Oooh, look, it’s starting!
::text rolls by on the screen::
>Chapter
1 - Ron’s bitten
>Disclaimer:
I own nothing okay exspet the plot and Shadow
Ian: Oh dear Lord...
‘Dagio: Expect the plot and Shadow! They’ll arrive later in the fic’, but not
now.
June: The Shadow was a very popular radio
programme, you know. ::nods:: “Who knows what lurks in the hearts of
men? The Shadow knows!”
::organ chords play in background::
Ian: Wow, she’s good.
>#####################
June: Look out!
The train is coming!
>The
dark figure walked across the roof of the Burow it went unseen for the only
thing in the the house awake was the goul and it could since it and for once
stayed quit in hope of going unoticed by the being on the roof.
Ian:
...
‘Dagio: I’m speechless.
June: Cookies, anyone?
>Shadow had not come to the home of the weasly's randomly no not this house
she came to it becuase she sinced a strong young man in it's walls an unoticed
boy who was over shadowed, she could tell he wanted the power to be even
stronger want to be know wanted to be seen not hidden by his brothers and friends,
she'd been watching this boy for awhile he had just turned 15 two minets ago
sleeping, she'd duside it was time to make him what he was made to be.
Ian: ::takes deep
breath:: I never thought we’d get out of
that sentence.
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
June: Look!
Rows of carrots!
Ian: No, its more like a
pathway, or something.
‘Dagio: Am I not the only one who sees two lines of
luscious breasts?
Ian: ... Carrots.
June: Thank you, dear!
>Ron was asleep in his room his face at rest his hand curled around his
pillow.
‘Dagio: Look!
No spelling errors, and it wasn’t a run-on!
Ian: They left out commas, though.
‘Dagio: ::hits Ian:: Stupid English major.
>He
didn't see his bedroom window open nore did he see the tall girl with long
black hair, dark eyes and pail white skin.
June: She carried her skin around in a bucket?
>Ron
did how ever hear her creap across his floor he shot up in bed to come face to
face with a pair of white fanges in a wide smile.
‘Dagio: Sees a woman leaning over him, and shoots up
in bed, eh? ::evil
grin::
Ian: ::sobs to himself::
>"So your awake that works too" Shadow said to Ron, Ron felt awave
of fear wash over him. "W..what do you
want?!?" Ron said still shocked.
Ian: Gripping plot.
‘Dagio: Oh, yes.
Being awake, not being awake, vampire-women with changeable plans. This fic has everything.
>"You of course," Shadow said to him running a hand under his chin
"I know who you are Ronnie, I know who you will become, I know your not
just a shadow for Harry Potter or Percy your not just Jenny's big brother
Ian: Jenny?
Wasn’t it supposed to be Ginny?
‘Dagio: You read too much.
>or
the invishable boy does any one else.." that
struck a cord.
June: I think the author has a lisp.
Betty: ...
June: Yes, I agree.
A specialist might be able to help with that sort of thing.
Ian: I’m so lost...
>Flash Back> The night Ron's P.O.V.
Ian: The night Ron‘s POV did what? What night?
Where am I? WHY AM I HERE?
‘Dagio: Author hates you, remember?
Ian: Oh, right.
Sorry ‘bout that.
>Jenny was standing on a stool in the middle of the living room mum was
Taloring a dress for her for the X-mas formal this year Jenny was already
getting owls from boys asking her to it,
Ian: Wow, this Jenny sure is a lot more popular
than Ginny ever was!
‘Dagio: She must have a better rack.
June: Oh, yes.
Nothing like a spice rack to attract the boys! Cook them anything you want with a good spice
rack. ::nods
sunnily::
‘Dagio: ::to himself:: I wonder what it’s like in her head...
June: Crowded, dearie. ^_^
>mum
was so proud of her, the twins were being lecshured by dad about how they
needed to settle down how look in to there fuchers like Bill, Charlie, and
Percy did, Percy who'd anounced that he'd be getting married to his long time
girlfriend earlyer that week was gushing on the phone with his bride to be.
‘Dagio: Gushing on the phone while talking to his
girlfriend? ::evil
grin::
Ian: Will you stop putting sex into everything in
the fic’ ?
‘Dagio: It’s more interesting this way.
>Ron
had [like most of the time] was going unoticed.
‘Dagio: Jacking off in the corner.
Ian: WHY?
‘Dagio: At this point in the story, what else has he
got to do?
Ian: ...
>Flash Back> Last day of 4th year
All: WOAH!
>He and Draco had been yelling insaults at each other for almost an hour.
Ian: Rather long time to be yelling insults. I’d have thought they’d start fighting or
something before that...
‘Dagio:
(Ron) “Your churlish mannerisms are outmatched only by the total ineptitude of
your wits!”
June: Let me try!
(Draco) “You’re full of banana-oil, Joe Zilch!”
‘Dagio: Interesting.
>"Your such a slimmy git, Malfoy!!" Ron
screamed almost out of breath,
‘Dagio: (Ron) “You are far too slim! You must be anorexic! Ha, I so smoked him.”
>"Wel,
your Wait why am I even waisting my time with with the invishable boy I have
better things to do thank you very much."
Ian: He spends an -hour- yelling at him and then
just walks away?
‘Dagio: Don’t think about it, it hurts too much.
>with
that Draco turned on his heels and left, and for some reason Ron didn't want to
atmint even to himself that hurt worse then any thing that Draco could have
said.
June: But, didn’t he say that he was
invisible? This piece of writing
confuses me...
Ian: If she’s confused, we’re in deep trouble.
>End Flash back>
June: No-one flashed me their back,
did I miss some sort of lewd goings on?
‘Dagio: Trust me, if there had been lewd goings on, I
would have mentioned it.
June: Alright!
::beaming::
>"No..." Ron said more to himself. "I can help you reach your
full putenchle Ron and I will"
‘Dagio: Now the little idiot is talking to himself?
Ian: I think that’s the vamp, ‘Dagio.
‘Dagio: Oh...
>Before
he could speack Shadow shoved his head to the side and bit down on his neck
aflash of red came over his eyes and white hot pain shot thow his whole body
then he blacked out.
‘Dagio: Damn, no sex scene.
Ian: If this girl writes a sex scene, I think I’ll
cry.
June: Betty says that this turns into... Ron and Draco slash later, whatever that
means...
Ian: ::cries::
>#######################
June: I wonder why the train never came...
>Ron woke up with it was all black he was laying on the cold wet ground he
was dressed only in his Pj pants he'd been waering when he'd gone to sleep
Ian: He woke up with the blackness?
>"What happened?" Ron asked himself,
‘Dagio: Good question.
>sharp
pain in his neck reminded him of the strange girl and her visit to his room
"What did she do to me?" he half sobed,
Ian: Sobe!
Drink of choice of delusional Weasleys!
>he
crumpled to the ground as a new pain peirsted his gut hunger stronger then he'd
ever felt, he shivered as red washed over his eyes again.
June: Someone should get him a sandwich.
>He
smelled something on the air he didn't know what it was but he knew it would
help it.
‘Dagio: Tonight at Seven, Frasier is back on the air!
Ian: Frasier will help Ron?
‘Dagio: ... Okay, no.
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
June: Look! Its like the top of a castle!
>Ron ran toward the smell it was so strong now Ron only new that he needed
it and the closer he got the more he needed it.
Ian: ::sings:: Any way you want it, that's the way you need
it. Any way you want it.
>He came on to a small camp a fire was set up and a one man tent was set up
a yong man was sitting by the fire. The smell was him.
‘Dagio: Little Bobby hadn’t bathed in weeks, he
smelled -awful-.
>Ron's
instincs kicked in his hunger took over Ron rushed the man thowing him to the
ground and biting in to his neck blood went down Ron's throught it shot in to
his system warming him easing the pain, as the hunger subsided Ron took back
over his body, he droped the now dead boy who didn't look any older then him.
June: Oh no!
The poor boy is dead! ::blows her nose, wipes eyes with hanky::
Ian: Did someone else take control of Ron’s body,
there?
‘Dagio: Maybe it was Yanni. I hear he’s pure evil.
>Ron
felt tears runned his face
Ian:
(Announcer Voice) And they’re off! It’s Ron’s Tear in the lead, followed by
Ron’s Other Tear! Coming in behind is
Another One of Ron’s Tears! This is the
most exciting run of Ron’s Face that we’ve seen in years, folks!
>"What
have I done?" Ron felt nothing but giult and shame he'd Killed,
‘Dagio: With a capitol ‘K’ and that rhymes with Gay
and that stands for Queer!
June: No, gay stands for happy, dearie. ::beams::
‘Dagio: ::shakes his head::
>What
was he going to do he didn't even know who it was he killed.
Ian: Lower case ‘k’ this time. It must not be as shocking now that he’s
thought about it.
>Dusiding he didn't want to be seen covered in some else's blood in his pj's
‘Dagio: Anything other than his PJ’s would have been
just fine, though.
>he
want into the tent found a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that fit he used his old
pants to wipe most of the blood off of him, his mind was about zillun miles
away.
Ian: Zillions, for kids!
>After
he cleaned up mostly he went back out to the boys body
Ian: The rest of Ron sobbed to himself in a
corner.
>took
his shoes "I'm sorry about this" he said honestly he felt tear push
the back of his eyes but he cep it back he took the boy's sleeping bag and
covered him with it he.
June: Is ‘Cep’ some sort of new slang you young
folks use?
Ian: No, dear.
June: Alright!
>$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%
‘Dagio:
(author) “Look what I can do by hitting shift and then the 4 and 5 buttons
quickly! Haha, this is fun!”
>Ron left the boy rapped in his sleeping bag
Ian: ::beat-boxes::
>and
placed in his tent it was all he could do, not that it was anuff. Ron reached a
small muggle town in an hour.
‘Dagio: Only short muggles allowed! Anyone over 5’ has to go!
>He
just walked around tell he found the name of the town with was Nienville
Ian: Neville?
This is a town of
>wich
was about two hours from his famly's house
June:
Ian: ::eats:: Fank-oo.
‘Dagio: ::inspects, and
then finally eats:: Graci.
>. He new he'd never step foot there agian.
‘Dagio: Dran, fioled agian!
>--------------------
June: They’ve gotten less elaborate, I see.
>The sun started to rise Ron's skin started to sizle
Ian: ::makes pan-frying
noises::
‘Dagio: He needs a better sunblock. He’ll get liverspots in his old age with skin
like that.
>he
felt intense pain shoot through him he ran in to an ally trying to open the
only door he saw.
‘Dagio: Now Ron’s shooting up, as well? He’s a vampire drug addict, charming.
>It
wouldn't open he pulled at the soled steel
June: The door was wearing steel-toed boots, or Ron
was?
Ian: I don’t think we’ll ever know, June.
>he
planted a sharp kick to the door it to his amasemint
‘Dagio: Amasemints!
Keeps your breath minty fresh when exploring labyrinthine passageways!.
>dinted
and flew open he ran in and closed the door the pain stoped as soon as he was
out of the light. He'd ran in to an emty store room from the looks of it he was
tired his body acked
Ian: Admiral Ackbar! ::hums Star Wars
theme::
>from
the night's events, he curled into aball on the floor
June: Who’s Aball?
Ian:
I think he’s the one with the steel-toed shoes.
June: Oh!
Well, that just explains everything.
::beams::
>in the corner his last
thought before he fell in to a nightmare filled sleep was "I need to find
some kind of cure"
Ian: ::casts Cura::
‘Dagio: I didn’t know you could do that.
Ian: I can’t.
‘Dagio this explains why it
isn’t working.
>^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
June: Look!
Sunshines coming between mountain tops!
>Review
Ian: NO.
‘Dagio: Please, no.
June: What?
Ian: I’m outta here! ::leaves::
‘Dagio: Me too! ::leaves::
June: ::falls asleep in her chair::
>Chapter 2 - Snap in Tails
Ian: Snap in what?
‘Dagio: Maybe they meant ‘Snape in Coattails’?
Ian: I thought you didn’t read these books...
‘Dagio: ::polite cough::
>Disclaimer: I own nothing
but dat's okay
Ian: Yes, if you owned these characters,
they’d most likely revolt against the regime.
>The next night Ron woke curled in a ball in the dark store room at first he
didn't remeber then the hungry raged in him
Ian: RAR! I
am THE HUNGRY! FEAR ME FOR I RAGE WITHIN
YOU ALL!
June: ::hands him some
candy:: Here, dear, this will tide you
over until we have dinner.
Ian: Um, thanks, June...
>and
it all came flooding back the vampire, the poor boy in the woods and the
knolage that if the hunger got like it had last night he'd kill agian. Ron closed
his eyes and tryed to think, he was in Nienville that was 5 miles from Trush a
town for magic folks,
Ian: Trush?
Trush?!?
My head, it’s hurting...
‘Dagio: I thought that Hogsmeade was the only all
wizarding town in all of Britian?
Ian: HA!
You -do- read the books!
‘Dagio: ::grumbles::
>it
was well know for it's dark arts shops and back market
dealings with the death eaters. 'that's where to start
my search I geuss' Ron thought bitterly.
Ian: Wait, if it was well known for those things,
why didn’t they shut it down?
‘Dagio: Knockturn Alley?
Ian: Um, yeah...
>He left the 'not so' safty of the back store room and entered the streets
once more he winced at the strong inviteing smell of warm human blood his
hunger doubled.
June: I used to take people’s blood, too!
Ian: O_o
‘Dagio: o_O
June: I was a nurse!
Both: ::Sigh of relief::
>Every
step he took it grew, every muggle he passed it grew untell it took over he was
almost out of the city he spoted a gagle
Ian: Honk!
Honk! Hooooonk! ::flaps arms::
>of
women on the corner dressed in short skirts and tight shirt it was plan as day
that they were hookers he'd heard about them from Harry.
Ian: So, Harry frequents brothels, or something?
‘Dagio: Good man!
Rraowr, hookers.
Ian: ::hits ‘Dagio::
>But
right now Ron wasn't in contral of his body so when the bleached blond one went
to stand on the corner across the way like she was waiting for some one the
hunger made Ron fallow her
‘Dagio: ::eyebrow
quirked:: He made the prostitute
unfertile?
>it
made him grab her from behind and pull her in to the alley his hand over her
mouth as she bit in to his hand he bit into her throught he slowly drained her
of her blood untell it went cold and like before Ron's sense returned he looked
down at the bad blond dyed hair, the tight hot pink sweter and black mini skirt
then made him self look at the dead pain twisted face of the women at his feet.
‘Dagio: Alright, this is –not- how to spend your
first evening with a prostitute. You’re
-supposed- to have sex with her, drain her of -other- bodily fluids.
Ian: You’re disgusting.
‘Dagio: You’re a prick.
June: I like ice-cream.
Ian: She wins.
>He
turned and ran. He didn't stop untell he was out of the city and more then half
way to Trush his famly had never gone there but he knew wel anuff where it was
his mother made sure they all did to stay away.
Ian: (Mrs. Weasley) “Look over there,
children! Do you see that whole town
that is two hours away from our house and near the town of
>@@@@@@@@@@
June: Look, roses!
My middle name! ::eyes water up::
>Trush was like nothing Ron had ever seen It wasn't more then three streets
really but those streets where full of shops with Hunken heads
Ian: I AM NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!
>and
dark magic spell books in the windows, Snakes and Monsters carved on the sides
of the biuldings and on the doors.
‘Dagio: I’m getting the feeling that this isn’t
supposed to be a bright and cheery place.
Ian: No, really?
>The
people were mostly dressed in black robes or other dark close. He for some
reason felt more at home here most likely because the whole place had a dark
feel to it and even if he didn't want it so did he.
‘Dagio: Oh, great. The next thing you know, he’ll lock himself
into a room, with only candles for light, and sheaves of parchment, and a quill
and write darque angsty goth poetry, because he’s filled with the dark.
>The first place he went to was a dark posion shop call 'As Ka no Ban'
Ian: A dark poison shop called As Ka no Ban?
‘Dagio: Change the ‘o’ to an ‘e’ and it turns into
Akane Ban.
Ian: Well, that would explain the -poison- part...
>he
smirked at the play of words
June: There’s a play of words?
Ian: Yes, and this one
seems to be a Comedy of Errors.
>the
shop was lit with a few dim candles the walls were covered in old books there
were shelfs full of diffent powders and other ingreadents he didn't want to
know what they were.
Ian: (shopkeep) “This one here is called Pow...”
‘Dagio: (Ron) “NO!
DO NOT TELL ME!”
Ian: (shopkeep):
“You have a thing against Poweraide?”
‘Dagio: (Ron):
“I told you not to tell me! ::freaks out::”
>He
walked up to the man at the counter he was shorter then Ron he looked about 40
and had a very long beard that touched the floor, he tensed as Ron came closer
to him.
"How can I help you yung sir?" he asked, "I'm looking for any thing you
have on Vampires"
Ian: (Ron):
“Not that I am one, or anything.
Aw, crud, I’ve got blood all over this shirt, don’t I? Stupid whore, getting her blood all over
me... Anywho, you got that book?”
‘Dagio: Why is he looking for a book in a
poison/potion shop?
June: Because he can.
>Ron
said calmly he had no way of paying but that was the last thing he was worried
about.
‘Dagio: At least he’s sort of honest, telling the guy
he can’t afford to buy the books.
>"I have a few books in the back but their mostly legans"
Ian:
(shopkeep) “This here’s the legan of Pual Bunion, and this here’s the legan of
Drakulla, and over here’s the legan of Nosteratu. Also, we carry the Kathie Lee biography.”
>The
man said, Ron leaded aginst the counter and looked the man dead in the eye
"Where might I find some thing with alittle base?"
Ian: (shopkeep) “Try the baking soda.”
‘Dagio: (shopkeep) “The Dungeon, down the street has
a -great- music system.”
>he
said it sounded a little hissed even to him but the man's eye went all dazed
and zombie like "You can find a real vampires diary at 'Snap in Tail' on
Bog street."
‘Dagio: Is that some sort of a hidden sexual
reference?
Ian: Don’t you know?
‘Dagio: No idea, this fic’ has me lost on so many
levels it’s amazing I’m still awake.
June: ::snores::
‘Dagio: Lucky.
>The
man said then his eyes went back to normal
Ian: ::makes his eyes
change colors::
"Did
you say something?" he asked confussed Ron relised what had just happened
or pretty much what had happened and dusided to test the theiry. He lean'd over
the counter agian and all but hissed "I jusst ssaid you were going to give
me all the money have"
Ian: So, nice, honest Ron Weasley who won’t take
money from his best friends will take it from total strangers, just because he
can?
‘Dagio: It’s the American way!
Ian: He’s British.
‘Dagio: Whatever, you both speak English, its close
enough for me.
>"Of corse how silly of me here, you go sir have a nice day" he
said handing Ron over 200 gold coins and smileing abit.
Ian:
(Shopkeep) “Perchaps you would liek my
firstbron childe?”
>"Oh and you don't remeder me ever coming in here" Ron added
leaveing the shop before the man came out of it.
‘Dagio: (Ron) “No need to remind me of ever coming in
here, I’ll remember stealing all of your cash!
Thanks again!”
>"Wel this'll make it easier to find out what I have to I guess"
Ron mussed to himself.
June: ::wakes up:: He’s mussing his hair? The poor boy, he’ll be a messy vampire, and
nobody likes a messy vampire.
>###########
June: ::Still waiting
patiently for the train::
>Ron found 'Snape in Tail' easly.
Ian: Wait, Snape in Tail? That’s so...
wrong.
‘Dagio: ::shudders:: Nothing like a store named for mansex with
Snape.
>The
outside was like most of the shops here it had a snake eating a lizerd on the
door
Ian: And a painting of a sad clown.
>
and no window in side Ron found that it was lit with
only a fire near the front the shore
June: We’re at the beach, now?
Ian: No, dear.
>had
only one counter there were 3 berolls nere the door one filled with dogs tungs,
Ian: What’s a dog tung?
‘Dagio: Slang for his balls?
Ian: ::winces:: Ow.
>one with muggle bones and the last with what looked like cat
claws. There were maskes and paintings of the muggle witch burnings from 100s
of years ago.
Ian: In the year 100s, DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH.
>Ron walked over to the counter a tall man with greasy black hair that
looked oddly famlar to him was standing behind it.
‘Dagio: Gee, I -wonder- who he could be related to?
Ian: I don’t know... Snape in Tail... Dark greasy black hair... looks familiar... maybe it’s...
Snape?
‘Dagio: ::points at
Ian:: Ding.
>"Can I help you?" The man asked.
>"Yes I'm looking for a book I beleive you have," Ron smirked
lightly at the man "a diary."
>"We are a posion shop not a book shore yung man" The man snaped.
Ian: Snape snapped!
‘Dagio: No, snaped.
>"Look mr..." Ron let the name hang there.
‘Dagio: The townsfolk watched as Ron hung the name. The floor went out from underneath its feet,
the rope pulled taught, it was all over.
The name was dead.
>"Snap Mathew snap"
‘Dagio: Bling bling, baby.
>The
man said with pride. 'Ohh' Ron thought.
>"Look Mr.Snap I know very wel you have this book I'm looking for. And
you don't want me to get annoyed." Ron growled at the Mathew Snap who was
looking a little pale ovusly getting the fact that he was not just blowing
smoke.
June: He was blowing bubbles!
>"I think I know what your looking for sir, but I sold that book just
today" Ron raised an eye brow, "Ohh, and to who did you sell this
book to?"
Ian: VampLuver37, on Ebay. I got a whole galleon for it!
>"Molfys,
Ian: Oh, I’ve heard of them, they’re the Malfoy’s less
evil and less heard of cousins.
>I
sold it to the Molfys they sent a elf
June: Dobby!
Ian: You read the books, too?
June: No, I saw the movie, Dobby was so darling.
>over to get it. Is there any thing else I cound help you
with?" The man was scard of him and Ron could smell it he smiled coldly,
this could be helpful"Yes you can where might I find a tavern around here
that won't ask questgens?"
Ian:
(Snap) “The Qui Questioner Lodge! Wait,
no! The Inquisition Inn! No!
Hotel Inquiry! No!”
>"Th.The Black Cat is a good choose it's just down the road abit they
get all sorts they don't care anuff to ask."
‘Dagio: You know, you’d think for a guy that worked
in a town full of deatheaters and dark witches and wizards, he’d have enough
balls to stand up to a -kid-.
>"perfect, now I'll be back around here tomarow Mr.Snap I would keep my
mouth shut about this little chat if I were you, understand?" Ron said
Mathew nodded.
Ian: EXTRA, EXTRA!
READ ALL ABOUT IT! SNAP HAS
CONVERSATION WITH FREAKISH CHILD!
GRAMMAR NOT INCLUDED!
>Ron reached the 'Black Cat' it was a broken down dump but it would do in a
tight spot.
He went to the front desk and asked the elven clerk the price of a room for the
next few days.
June: The Follies were held at the top of a hotel
to begin with, you know. On the roof. I never
starred in those, but I talked with some of the girls who did. It was a very opulent hotel, everyone who was
anyone stayed there.
Ian: So, it’s the opposite of this place?
June: Yes.
>"10 gold for the week, sir"
Ian: (Ron) “I shall pay with it with my money
which I have right here which is not stolen, but instead is mine. Not stolen.
Also, I in no way have a thirst for the blood of mortals.”
‘Dagio: (Elf) “As long as you don’t have a thirst
for the blood of elves, sir! ::staged laugh::”
Ian: (Ron) ::staged
laugh:: Yes, I do.
>Ron
paid and went up to the room he'd rented it was about the size of a walk in
closet 1 single bed a set of drawers and a mirrow
June: Those are big minnows, right?
Ian: It might make the story more interesting, but
no.
>on
the wall thankfully no windows the bath room was shared and in the hall.
>Ron looked the mirrow and wasn't too pleased to see that he could see
himself,
‘Dagio: I thought vampires couldn’t see themselves in
mirrors?
Ian: Ron is a ‘special’ vampire. He doesn’t need to play by the rules. He’s a rebel.
>his
face was pale, his blue eyes had darkened to almost black and his firey hair
was stained with the blood of his last to meals.
Ian: So, he walked through a non-magical town,
then he walked to a magical town covered in blood... and no one found this odd in the least?
‘Dagio: Didn’t I tell you to stop thinking about the fic’ ?
>He
shook his head and went to the bathroom down the hall it was thankfuly emty he
locked the door and striped his close he turn on the hot water.
‘Dagio: ::makes Psycho
shower-scene noises::
>'It had to be Draco's famly didn't it' he thought bitterly as he climed
into the shower he closed his eyes as the water ran pink down his face.
Ian: Suddenly, Ron remembered that fact about
Vampires taking damage from running water!
In almost an instant he was turned into a puddle of goo! The End!
‘Dagio: ::snorts:: Yeah, right.
We could only be so lucky.
>After
washing he climed out and dried himself with one of the self cleaning towels
Ian: What?
‘Dagio: Prostitute with an extra absorbent dress.
Ian: Oh....
WHAT?
‘Dagio: ::Beams::
>he
pulled on his jeans and went down to his rented room he climed into the bed
still feeling fithy and went to sleep knowing when he woke he'd be a slave to
the hunger agian.
>@#@#@#@#@#@#
June: Roses on the train tracks!
>When Ron woke the strong smell of liveing human blood
Ian: Night of the Living Blood sounds like one of
those bad B-movies from the 50s.
>filled
his nose the intense hunger pains in his gut was anuff to bring him to his
knees. He fault the hunger
‘Dagio: Bad hunger, bad!
>anuff
to dress and get 'his' money and leave the tavern he romed the streets of the
villge untell the hunger took over intirely he ended up grabing a older looking
witch from behind
Ian: Who obviously knew no magic or had any means
of protecting herself in a city filled with dark wizards.
June: The poor woman, that Ronald might have broken
her hip!
Ian: He killed her, June.
June: ::gasps:: The little vagabond!
>and
draging her in to an allie
‘Dagio: McBeal.
He excused himself from the overly thin lawyer and went looking for
someone with actual breasts.
Ian: ::sobs quietly::
>and
drank her blood untell it was cold with little to no fight.
Ian: If her blood really was cold, there -would-
be no fight. She’d be dead for several
hours.
‘Dagio: Vengeance is a dish best served cold. With blood. Cold blood.
>After
feeding he was even more 'inspired' to find a cure.
June: After I eat, I take a nap. ^_^
>He came up with a plan first he went to a shop called 'Spindle and Pen' to
get some new close. He got a pair of black pants that fit him snugly and a
black long sleaved shirt and a over jacket.
Ian: Neo?
‘Dagio: No, he’s gone Goth.
Ian: Robes?
And, in a store like ‘Spindle and Pen’ I’d think you’d find a writing
supply/ spinning wheel store.
‘Dagio: Not a common combination.
>Then he went back too 'Snap in Tail'.
Ian: I’m suddenly reminded of the locker room and
towel fights...
>Mathew
was leaning over the counter reading some thing,
June: It was Silver
Screen Weekly! The Talkie Edition,
would they fly or would they sink? It
was a very controversial edition. ::nods::
‘Dagio: ::whispers to
Ian:: I think she’s still in the 20’s.
Ian: ::whispers
back:: At least she isn’t paying
attention to the fic, really.
>Ron
noticed that he looked yunger then Prof. Snap.
‘Dagio: Bling.
>"Mr. Snap" He growled Mathew's head shot up to look at him.
"Ahh, sir how can I help you today or rrr night as the case maybe?"
Mathew said.
Ian: So he’s rolling his r’s,
he must be French, and then he doesn’t know if it’s night or if it’s day?
‘Dagio: But he’s yunger than Prof. Snap.
Ian: You’re -so- very helpful, ‘Dagio.
‘Dagio: ::beams::
>"Is that the news?" Mathew snached it up and held it out to him
"it's locle new paper sir the 'Darkened Star'" Ron took it the papper
was only about 4 pages :
June: Dewey Defeats Truman!
Ian: L00ki/\/6 4 H0t Chixz0rz?
’Dagio: Dark and Stormy Night Covers
Shot as Maid Screams, Pirates Appear!
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Darkened >Star~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ian: Our headline is so important, it’s –two-
headlines.
>Page2
Ian: Page one pulled for indecency reasons.
>The Ministery is out for Blood after the bodys of two muggles were found in
and a round the town of
‘Dagio: It’s believed a local runabout of bad blood
might be the cause for the bloodletting that took place to relive these poor
people of their blood. More blood as the
blood becomes available.
>It
is believed that it was related to the death eater of that area so be on your
toes, ladies and gentle men this maybe truble.
>Samule J. Corsh
Ian: So, this is a local paper in a city
of dark wizards, warning people to be on the lookout for a deatheater?
‘Dagio: Didn’t I tell you not to think about it?
>Page3
>little Wizerd word news
‘Dagio: Nitwit!
Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
>Pure Blood boy still missing the Weasly famly's yungest son who was
discovered missing yerstday moren is still missing.
June: Oh, the poor boy, I wonder what happened to
him...
Ian: She’s taking this story better than either
one of us...
>Inside info Hogwarts is getting to new teachers this year the new DADA
teacher Damen Shall and Tranmagrion [sorry for the bad spelling]
‘Dagio: After a chapter and a half of bad spelling,
she finally breaks down and admits that she can’t?
Ian: ::hopeful:: At least she apologized.
>Teacher
Dailean McLain.
>Ken Goyle
Ian: That explains it! Goyle’s dad wrote that newspaper article!
‘Dagio: This also explains the comment about the bad
spelling.
>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
June: More roses for me! Daddy always said I was his June Rose. ::teary eyed::
>Ron folded the paper and handed it back to Mathew "Thank you. Now I
want you to tell me what you know about Malfoy manor" Mathew bleached.
"Do you know who I am Mr.Snap?" Mathew shook his head "Do you
know what I am?"
June: A poor, lost little boy in a world that
scares him. Also,
blood.
>"I have an idea, sir" he squeked. Ron sighed.
>"You may call me Ron I dis like sir. And Idea is it you have?"
Ron said coldly.
Ian:
(Snap) “Yes! Combining mere powdered
root of asphodel, and windex, you can cure any ailment, and clean an engine!”
>"A demon, sir I mean Ron" Ron snorted.
>"Close anuff, Mathew. I am of sorts I guess I
am tireing to fix that though.
Ian: So, he doesn’t want to be human anymore?
‘Dagio: I keep telling you, Do -not- think about the
fic’.
>You
will what I want to know Mathew or I will make you then I will dispose of you
it will be of little diffents to me" he half lied, "It would be wise
if you helped me Mathew and cept it to your self"
‘Dagio: Threatening.
Ian: Yes, quite.
‘Dagio: (Ron) “I am threatening to you now because
you are being not what you are but instead might you become that no longer?”
>Mathew seemed to understand what it was he was saying
Ian: Halleluiah!
It’s a miracle!
>and
asked "How can you fix being a demon sir?"
Ian: Why do I suddenly feel like Super Rocket
Monkey is behind this?
‘Dagio: Except Super Rocket
Monkey is supposed to be funny because his English is poor.
>"That's what I'm tireing to find out" Mathew noded.
Ian: ::imagines Mathew
growing nodes:: Eeeewwww....
>"The manor has two curses on it ypu'd have to get around but if your a
demon it won't be hard ones no 'Human' can enter the land if they don't have
Malfoy blood
Ian: Well, that’s a little inconvenient, don’t you
think? “Oh, sure, come on over to the
house, we’ll have a party. Oh, wait, you
aren’t related to me. Sorry about that,
you can’t come over. Maybe
if you married my cousin?”
>and
the other is a simple alert charm.
Ian: DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!
>I
have the suplies to make a posion to disarm that one" Mathew said
nervusly.
>Ron smiled"I was never too good with posions Mathew I think it would
be best if I paid you to make it for me" Ron said, the guy was helping him
why not throw him a bone.
‘Dagio
and Ian: ::throw
chicken bones at Matthew::
June: ::throws cookies::
>Mathew
nodded "My older bother is know all over the word
for his posions and he taught me every thing he knows so it wound be a
sinch" Mathew cooed with pride.
Ian: It’s the gloden sinch! ::tries to catch
it::
>"Your brothers Serverus Snap right the
Hogwarts profesor right" Ron asked to check what he'd guessed.
‘Dagio: Serverus Snap is multiple people right, he
can bilocate, right.
>Mathew
beamed as he nodded "You know him?" "We've met"Ron said
dryly "You two seem diferent"
Ian:
(Ron) “I mean, I’m exactly like my other brothers.”
>"I
know my brother maybe my only famly but I don't mind saying he's alittle up
tight you know" Mathew said as he rounded up the things he'd need.
‘Dagio:
(Ron) “Are you sure you have to make it in a Little Mermaid cup?”
Ian: (Matt) “Yes!
Now, quickly fetch me my Thomas the Tank Engine Bunsen burner! We’ve a potion to brew!”
>@#@#@#@#@#
June: Maybe it’s donuts on the train tracks... ::ponders::
>After about 2 hours Mathew sat back from his posion "It'll take a day
or so to sit then you just trow it on Malfoy's gate and bam carm free"
June: You what and it does what, again? ::confused::
Ian: You bam carm free.
June: That’s what I was afraid of...
>he
said with a grin he and Ron had been talking while he was working and they'd
both found out some intresting things like Snap and his brother were awy
diffent were Snap uptight, stoned face death eater. Mathew was not loose but
looser, quick to show his emoins and pro Dumblore.
‘Dagio: Why in the world would he be pro-Dumbledore
if he lives in a town of deatheaters and dark wizards, and isn’t Snape
pro-Dumbledore?
Ian: Remember?
You’re thinking about the fic’, now.
>And
Mathew found that the 'Demon' was just a boy who was cursed and guilty and in
need of help.
Ian: And drank people’s blood for kicks and
giggles.
>"Wel, I paid for a week at the tavern so thats
fine. I think I should be off it's only 4 hours to sun
rise and I still have to check out the manor. Oh and
Mathew." "Yes"
‘Dagio: (Ron) “Always remember, your older brother
will always be more successful that you could ever hope to be.”
Ian:
(Mathew) “::cries::”
>"Don't
duble cross me I'd hate to have to kill you" Mathew paled but noded.
‘Dagio: So, the manor is less than two hours
away? How... convenient.
>$#$#$#$#$#$#
June: They must be quite rich to throw all of that
money around.
>Malfoy Manor was just outside the village it was dark and foggy it seem like the kind of place some one like him belonged.
Ian: Well, that was helpful, thanks!
>#$#$#$#$#$
June: Look, they’re throwing around less
money, now.
>Review next chap. up soon
Ian: ::reviews next chapter:: OMG!
OMGOMGOMG! THiS Wuz a GRET StORIE! I NnnEED MORre!
‘Dagio: Ugh, you sicken me.
Ian: ::beams::
June: Oh, look!
Here comes the next part!
‘Dagio: Oh, joy.
We don’t even get a break?
>Chapter 3 - Notes
>This is an A/N I need to
know if I should make my Draco be in love with . the lovely Ron too or not and just have more angst?
>tell me
>tell me >pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Ian: ::shaking violently::
June: Oh my, she can certainly squeal...
‘Dagio: Madre del Dios... ::cries::
Ian: ::throws up in paper bag::
June: ::helps Ian to his feet:: Come on, dearie, we need to get you out of
here.
Ian: ::thickly:: Thank you...
‘Dagio: ::helps Ian out of the theater, June
follows::
June, Ian
and ‘Dagio all take their seats.
Ian: I’m afraid.
‘Dagio: I think we all are...
June: ::beams sunnily:: Afraid of what, dearie?
‘Dagio: For once I want to be her.
June: Fresh!
::slaps ‘Dagio lightly::
>Chapter 4 – Draco
>I Wrote chapter 3
Mawhahahahaha, Disclaimer I own nothing but if I did that tight candy assed Draco would soooo be
makeing out with Ron 'The hottie' all the time yay.
Ian: ::cries::
‘Dagio: Someone save us...
Ian: ::starts praying::
June: That authoress swore! ::writes a letter to
the editor of The New York Times::
>Okay then on with the fic ^__^
All: Huzzah!
>Oh yeah little hit of unwilling insest, and M/M love for now *_-
Ian: ::cries again::
June: M&M’s in love?
‘Dagio: We can only hope, my dear.
>Ron climed on to the brick wall that surounded the
manor he crouched and watched the goings on. There was a Siren gaurd on the
roof you'd think it was a bird untell you saw the blond hair and pretty face of
a girl on it's body.
Ian: It had blond hair and the pretty face of a
girl on its body? What sort of a
freakish bird siren is that?
‘Dagio: The freakish sort?
Ian: ... Yes.
>Ron
heard sobbing not far from his perch. He walked down the wall toward the sound
and 4 heavy smells filled his senses
Ian: The smells blinded his eyes, filled his ears
with sound, made his tongue taste bitter, salty, sweet, -and- sour, ran
coursing pain throughout his whole body, and smelled like stuff, all at once.
‘Dagio: Pretty potent smells.
Ian: Oh yeah, they can do -anything-.
>he
didn't know how he knew what they were but he did, Pain, fear, shame and a cent
June: Penny candy!
>he
knew all to well Blood.
June: Oh...
‘Dagio: Three of those weren’t smells...
Ian: Artistic license.
>He
drew closer and saw the hudled form of Draco Malfoy curled in to a ball aginst
the wall.
Ian: Dodgeball – Only the strong survive.
>Draco
was crying in to his knees his black t-shirt was riped at the sleave and his
blue jeans were riped here and there there was a large bruise on his tear
streeked cheek his gorgus blond hair was plastered down with swet.
Ian: Something about streaking and gorgon blond
hair being plastered down by sweets?
‘Dagio: Medusa gave her hair a honey treatment, and
then chased a naked Draco around the grounds?
Ian: Why not?
>His
beutiful blond boy was hurt. Ron thought then asked him self 'Did I just call
Malfoy my beutiful boy?'
Ian
& ‘Dagio: NO.
>Ron
shook his head and forced himself to leave.
June: What was this chapter about, again?
Ian: I think the author was implying that Draco’s
father raped him, or something.
June: Why, that’s horrid! ::takes up her
knitting:: I shan’t listen to this
anymore. ::knits::
‘Dagio: Can I do that, too?
Ian: NO.
I’m not going through this by myself.
‘Dagio: Damn.
>#@#@#@#@#@#@#@
Ian: If June was paying attention, she’d make a
comment, here...
>After he left the manor returned to his room.
‘Dagio: How’d he fit the whole manor house into his
room?
>He
clanged into the old t-shirt he fell asleep as so as he laid
down.
Ian: ::makes banging
noises::
‘Dagio:
(Ron) “Stupid shirt, why’d that camper have to have a shirt made of cast iron?”
>!@!@!@!@!@!
June: ::knits:: Knit one, pearl two...
>Ron woke up, dressed, left the 'Black Cat', Grabed an incent Young man with
short blond hair, killed and ate the young man, and then went back to 'Snap in
Tails'
‘Dagio: More things happened in that one sentence
than have happened in the rest of the chapter.
Ian: I mean, the boy is
killing wizards; won’t someone notice?
‘Dagio: No.
Ian: Won ‘t one of them
be able to fight back?
‘Dagio: No.
Ian: Why not?
‘Dagio: Because, realism isn’t
allowed in this fic’.
>$#$$$$#$$$#
Ian: How many different scene change things does
this chapter need?
June: I’m not paying any attention! ::knits::
Ian: Yes, June...
>Mathew eyed the purpleish posion he made with pride his big brother would
be proud.
Ian: War is Peace!
Ignorance is Truth! Freedom is Slavery!
>Mathew
was always trying to make Servirus proud he was 10 years older and had taken
care of Mathew even before their parents died. Thats
why Mathew had started this shop to show his brother he knew abit about posions
too.
Ian: Wait!
I get it! It’s supposed to be
poissons! That’s French for fish. The guy makes fish. ::beams vapidly::
‘Dagio: You -are- related to Wade, aren’t you?
Ian: ::still
beaming:: Yup!
>But
Serv.
‘Dagio: (author) “I cannot be bothered to fully
misspell his name all the time!”
>had
never even had the time to come see it, he'd started it when he was 20 he was
24 now you do the math.
Ian: So, wait...
when he was 20 he was 24?
‘Dagio: Maybe Serv., who is ten years older, was 24
when Matt. was 20?
June:
The answer is 42. ::keeps knitting::
Ian: ... yeah, it is.
>But
still he owled his brother weekly wether he had any thing big to say or not.
Ian:
(Matthew) “And then this guy, he came into the shop, and he bought some
stuff. Oh yeah, I stepped on a bug
yesterday, and helped a vampire. The
Duchess sends her love! – Matt”
>Serv.
wrote him maybe once a year.
‘Dagio:
(Serv.) “Who are you, and why do you keep writing to
me?”
>He
missed his brother but he liked to help people so he looked forward to helping
this Ron boy.
Ian: Oh no... no... no... no... no... Please, Ron doesn’t need that sort of help...
‘Dagio: What do you me... She wouldn’t, no, she wouldn’t.
>Ron walked into the shop "Is it ready Mathew?"
‘Dagio: I’ve been ready all my life, baby.
Ian: ::punches ‘Dagio in
the shoulder::
>"Yes" Mathew said handing it to Ron "If you need any thing
else just let me know"
Ian: No, no, no...
>"Ohh, I will," Ron said then added "Thanx"
‘Dagio: I speak l33t haxor, now!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ian: YES! ::dances::
‘Dagio: Amazing how happy you are that something
-didn’t- happen.
Ian: YES.
>Ron threw the Posion over the gate then opened it and went in silently he
made his way to the house.
Ian: That is when he remembered that he was supposed
to take the potion out of the container before throwing it over the gate. Dangit, there went all of that one
shopkeeper’s money.
>He
kept an eye on the huvering siren. he didn't even feel
woosy he didn't know if he sould be happy or upset about that.
‘Dagio: Sirens don’t make you feel woozy, they make
you love them, and then they kill you and eat you. Hence, this is why Enza is a siren. ::smiles smugly::
>He
walked to the first window of the house it was to some sort of living room. A
scream piered the night air
Ian: Suddenly, Ron was in a dock! There were piers everywhere, and behind him,
a Pier 21 Exports company!
>Ron
ran to were the sound came from it was on the side of the house one story up
with out really thinking Ron jumped up and nearly went over the window he
cluched the sill of the window to see in what he saw made his eyes widen in
rage.
‘Dagio: Carrot Top was performing live in the
Malfoy’s house! Oh, the humanity!
>It was a office Draco was laying on the ground
nose bleeding one eye quickly turning black and purple at Luciuses feet.
Ian: Oh no!
Lucious has learned to bilocate, too!
>Ron
noted that Draco was only waering a pair of white boxers and the rest of his
close were laying riped in a pile not far from the window.
‘Dagio: They told Draco not to mosh while being
drunk, but would he listen? Nooo.
>"""""""""""""""
Ian: These were the quotation marks that the
author planned to use for the really good and well thought out, in-character
dialogue. You’ll notice they’re still
here.
>Draco wimpered in pain his whole head hurt from that last blow.
‘Dagio: ::falls over
laughing:: His head hurt... blow...
Ian: ... I don’t know how you managed to get more sex
out of a rape scene, but ...
::snerks:: Sorry, I can’t help
laughing... ::laughs::
‘Dagio: Well, what do you know? He does have a set of balls and a sense of
humor after all.
Ian: ::gruffly:: Thanks, ‘Dagio.
>"My little Dragon it's time you learn to obay your father" Lucius
said unzipping his pants
Ian: ::wails::
>Draco
screamed agian but this it was cut short as a dark figur burst threw the
window, it slamed in to his father throwing him into the wall knocking him out.
‘Dagio: Yay for teh figur of powah.
>Draco
climed to his feet to see who his savure was
Ian: His what?
>he
was beoned shocked to see his long time crush only he was diffent his hair and
eyes were darker and he was dressed in all black.
‘Dagio: (Draco) “Oh no, he has gone Goth! I am teh sad!”
>Draco stumbled over to Ron not even reliseing he was only in his boxers
‘Dagio: I’ve suddenly realized that so far nobody in
this wizarding world wears robes. Draco
wears, or usually wears, jeans and a t-shirt, Ron is wearing tight black pants
and shirt and an overcoat. But, supposedly,
they all wear robes at least some of the time.
Ian: I’ve realized that everyone here is very out
of character.
June: I’ve realized that I dropped a stitch
somewhere... ::unravels
her knitting::
>"Thanx, Weasly" he croaked before passing out in to Ron's arms.
Ian: (Draco) “J00 roxorz my boxorz.”
‘Dagio: ::falls over
laughing::
Ian: ... I didn’t just say that, did I?
‘Dagio: ::still
laughing:: YES.
>@#@#@#@#@#@#@#
::knitting needles click::
>Ron laided Draco
Ian: Gah!
She’s started already!
>on
the desk and searched the room.
Ian: Oops.
>He
found the Diary in one of the locked desk drawor it was writen in another
launge
‘Dagio: Amazing, that. Found it in a locked desk in the room that he
happened to be in? Certainly is a good
thing that they didn’t put it somewhere else.
>
Ron growled in fusaion
Ian: Atoms split off from Ron in an ever cascading
reaction! He was going to blow!
>it
was never simple was it. Dusideing
Ian: ::gasp:: He’s joined the DU!
>it
woundn't be wise to leave Draco here after what he'd just seen. So he picked
Draco up and jumped out the window and landed gracefuly on the ground 8 feet
below.
‘Dagio: Tripping over a rock, twisting his ankle, and
dropping Draco on the ground.
>_+_+_+_+_+_+
June: ::looks up from her
knitting:: Look! Telephone polls.
>Ron Reached 'Snap in Tails in record time it was closed so he shifted Draco
so that he was only in one arm and banged on the door
Ian: He got there so quickly that he didn’t even
need to bother with ’ or , or . marks.
>:":":":":":":
June: Little bottles of perfume, all lined up!
Ian: You back with us, June?
June: Maybe!
>Mathew opened the door "I thought you were getting a book not a
snack" he said with a smirk.
All: ::mock laughter::
>Ron
rolled his eyes and pushed Draco into Mathew's arm.
Ian: Sadly, Mathew wasn’t ready, so he dropped
Draco again. “Dangit,
broke his wrist...” said Mathew.
>Mathew
looked down at the bruised little body he was holding "What the hell did
you do to him Ron?"
‘Dagio: (Ron) “Listen, I -told- him not to go moshing
while drunk, but would he listen to me?
Nooooo, he’s too uppity for that.”
>"Saved him" Ron said sitting on the counter.
>"uh?"
Ian: Our reactions exactly.
>"His dad was beating him it looked like he was about to rape him. What
was I supost to do leave him there?" Ron said hotly.
June: Well, you might try calling the police,
dearie. They handle these sort of things, don’t they?
>"I'll put him upstairs in my apartment for now let's let him
rest" Mathew caried the poor boy up the stairs to his home he laided the
boy
Ian: ...
>on
his guestroom bed and went back down stairs.
Ian: ::sighs::
()()(()()()()()())
June: ::sings:: Bubbles, pretty bubbles...
‘Dagio: ::announcer voice:: In a sad turn of events, it appears that two
()’s have taken six of their compatriots hostage in a bloody coup d’etat. Our hopes and prayers go out with them and
their families.
>Ron sat cross legged on the counter looking threw the book.
Ian: He goes to all that trouble to get it, and he
just throws it away? Sheesh.
>So
exzorbed in it even though he couldn't read it he didn't notice Mathew.
‘Dagio: Wow, this book is -great- it’s got
everything... Words I can’t read... a cover...
some pages are written in pen...
others in pencil... words I can’t
read... It’s like one of them 5th
grade level readin’ books or something!
>"Is that what you were looking for?" Mathew said and Ron jumed
lightly,
Ian: Jumed?
::spellchecks::
Ron jumped lightly?
>"Yes I think so. Mathew I have another job for you I'll pay you
well" Ron said and ment it he'd been takeing the money from his victums
lately for just this sort of sitaion Mathew nodded"What can I do to help
you?"
>
Ian: (Ron) “You ned to by the author some spelchek.”
>"I need you to find out what this says" Ron said handing Mathew
the book Mathew fliped threw it.
Ian: Look out!
He’s flipping out like a ninja, yo!
>"It might take awhile. This isn't my normal thing" Ron nodded,
‘Dagio: (Mathew) “Even though I had this book in my
possession and I sold it in a potion shop and everything.”
>"It's getting late I better leave before I get stuck here and eat one
of you" He said with out humor as he left.
Ian: Yeah, his humor has been out and off for most
of this fic’ ...
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
June: The
>Draco Woke up with the sun in his eyes he groaned and sat up.
‘Dagio: (Draco) “Damn, how drunk was I last night...”
>He
instintly noted that 1) This was not his room 2) his face hurt like hell 3)
thankfuly that was all that hurt like hell.
June: Well, isn’t it helpful that they gave us a
numbered list? ::beams::
>He looked around the room as he remidered what had happened in his father's
study last night and two more thought rejstered for him 1) Ron Weasly his long
time enmy and almost as long crush 'KNEW!' he knew what his father did to him
Ian: ::cries::
‘Dagio: ::pats Ian on the
back::
Ian: Not only the OOCness, but... the grammar and spelling. It’s like I’ve got an ice pick being driven
into my English Major heart. Ron knows
what Draco knows what Draco’s father does to him? ::cries more::
>
2) Ron 'though be it a little darker looking but no less hot' had saved him
from his father it was like a 100,000,000 of his dreams come true.
‘Dagio: If only one or both of them had been a
hermaphrodite, then 100,000,000,000 of his dreams would have came
true.
Ian: Do NOT bring OSCAR into this FIC!
>He got out of the bed still alittle wussy
‘Dagio: ::flexes:: Compared to me, he’s a huge wussy. Hell, compared to Micheals here, he’s a
wussy.
Ian: Thanks, da Capo.
‘Dagio: Welcome.
>but
that never stoped him before....
‘Dagio: (Draco) “I must get out of bed today! No matter how cowardly I really am, I must
get out!”
>%^%^%^%^%^%^%^
June: Funny noses!
Ian: What?!
>Mathew sat at the counter of his shop reading and rereading the diary
trying to fiure out what it was writen in with no luck.
Ian: (Mathew) “Oh, if only I could use something
like... MAGIC to help me
read this...”
>He'd
had afew customers come in and buy olds and ends
June: I resent that!
>but
nothing to big, he heard movement over his head 'I guess yung mr Malfoy is up' he opened the door behind the counter that
lead to his apartment up stairs.
>"Why don't you come down here Draco" He called up.
‘Dagio: (Mathew) “I’ve a -special- present to give
you.”
>Draco came down the step slowly his eyes darting around looking for danger.
>"Where's Ron?" he asked when he reached the bottbum.
Ian
and ‘Dagio: ::fall
over laughing::
Ian: ROBOT BUTTS!
::still laughing::
June: I don’t get it...
>"He's 'out'"
Ian: (Mathew) “OF THE CLOSET!” ROBOT BUTTS!
‘Dagio: ::laughs more::
>Mathew
said not sure how much to tell the boy. He started to read the diary agian.
>"That's my Father's book!" The boy yell
in out rage but Mathew could tell it was an automatik thing.
Ian: ::sings:: It’s automatic... ::mumbles::
‘Dagio: What are the rest of the lyrics?
Ian: ::blushes a
bit:: I dunno. The rest is in Japanese.
>"It
'WAS' your father's now it's yung master Ron's."
Mathew said simple Dravo looked shocked.
‘Dagio: (Mathew) “I helped him steal it! Hahahahahahaaahahahhahhhahaaaaha!”
>"This is 'Snap in Tails' right I've been in here before. Why am I
here?" Draco was upset and trying to hind it
Boys: ::fall over
laughing:: HIND!
>but
Mathew saw that the boy was scared.
>"Yes this is 'Snap in Tails' and your here becuase I'm helping Ron and
he left you in my care." Mathew noted that the boy didn't look very
releived at this, "Do you know what this 'book' is writen in?"
Ian: (Draco) “It’s written in ‘ink’.”
>Draco nodded" It's writen in Slavick. Why?"
June: ::gasps:: Because he’s in league with Kaiser Wilhelm!
>"Because I need to crack it fast" Mathew said feeling alittle
desprit he'd never even heard of Slavick.
‘Dagio: Neither have most linguists.
>"You
wouldn't happen to know how to read it would you?" Draco nodded gain
>"Of
corse but only alittle"Draco said.
Ian: (Draco) “I am to be reading very goodness the
Slavick.”
>Draco didn't know what to think when Mathew grined and said "Wel it's
astart" Draco looked down at the book but his almost naked self got his
atenchen he was only wearing his boxers!! He rapped
Ian: ::raps:: “My name is Draco and I’m pasty white,
My
boxers here have given me a fright!
I’m
almost naked, something’s amiss!
What
would happen if Ron saw my tiny pe...”
‘Dagio: ::falls over
laughing::
Ian: ::turns several
shades of red::
‘Dagio: ::slaps Ian on the
back:: Good man!
Ian: The fic’ is getting to me... ehehehehehe...
June: His tiny pe-what, dear?
Ian: Pe...
pe... pe...
‘Dagio:
June: The poor thing...
>his arms over his lower self and backed aginst the wall.
‘Dagio: (Draco) “I’m ready for my close-ups, now...”
>"Um..Would you please be so kind as to get me
some close" he all but squeaked.
Ian: Sadly, Draco wouldn’t find closure from this
incident for decades.
>
Mathew gave draco a soft smile. He gave his wand a
swish "Camyow_ishai"
Ian: At least it wasn’t Floato.
>Draco
was now wearing a pair of black jeans and a lose fiting white shirt with long
sleives and unbutened untell the 5 buten and black boots.
‘Dagio: He’s turned into Jareth from Labyrinth!
Ian: If Draco offers Ron a ‘special peach’, I’m
outta here.
June: They serve peaches at the nursing home
sometimes. ::nods::
>"Nice" Draco said.
Ian: If you like Rod Stewart.
>(!)(*)(#)(@)(%)(&)($)(^)
June: It’s a good thing those parentheses are
there, or else someone would be swearing.
>Ron woke as the sun set he climed out of bed did what he did every night
dressed and went out to find a bite to eat 'Pardon the pun' little bit of Ron's
mind that could think while he was on hunt was his albino angle. 'ohh, Draco
you already hate me and now your sure to all ways' Ron thought as he grabed a
wizerd from off the street and fed.
Ian: Did that make any sense to any of you?
‘Dagio: Nope.
June: Not in the least, dear.
Ian: Good. Albino angles?
>@#@#@#@#@#@#
June: ::pickes the roses
by the train tracks::
Ian: ::watches in
amazement::
‘Dagio: How did she do that?
June: ::passes out roses
to the boys::
Ian: No idea...
>Ron reached the shop he walked in and his breath calt in his throute at the
site before his eyes Draco was sitting cross legged on the counter looking at a
note book a quil in his hand and he was chewing his lower lip.
Ian: I’m shocked that Draco isn’t wearing a
schoolgirl uniform.
‘Dagio: Rod Stewart isn’t bad enough for you?
Ian: ... yes, it is.
>Ron
had the earge to run over and throw him on the ground and do him right there.
June: Do what to him? Wrestle?
Ian: ... Yes, June.
>'Wel
I guess I can't denigh it any more. I love the little worm'
‘Dagio: Why?
-Why-? Really? There needs to be some sort of character
interaction that brings Draco and Ron closer together other than, ‘He saved my
from my father who rapes me.’ A friendship that grows into something more... not five minutes of hero-time and a supposed
crush that went completely and totally against the characterization in the
books. But what do I know?
Ian: ::beams:: Yeah, ‘Dagio, you’ve got more chemistry with
Ammon than Draco and Ron have got.
‘Dagio: Yes, ex...
::punches Ian::
You’ve been talking with Tami, haven’t you?
Ian: I’ve got to do -something- while she takes
those awful pictures.
>Ron
walked toward the counter and noticed Mathew was leaning on the counter too.
Ian: (Ron) “You come here often, cutie?”
‘Dagio: (Draco) “No!
::sobs::”
>
Mathew looked up at him and frowned, "We're getting there but this is
going to take awhile" he said Ron nodded.
>Draco looked up at them his face gave away no emotion but Ron could smell
shame, enbearestess,
June: ::blinks at the
screen:: Is that just random letters, or
do I need new glasses?
Ian: ::sighs:: Random letters.
June: ::Beams:: Oh, good.
I don’t like that horrid optometrist.
>fear and worrie. Draco handed the note book to Mathew and all but
ran up to the apartment.
‘Dagio: Draco had suddenly realized that he’d come
downstairs without a stitch of makeup on.
>#@#@#@#@#@#@
June: I’d say something new, but these roses are
getting a bit wilted.
>Draco went into the guessroom
Ian: Who shot JR?
‘Dagio: No-one cares!
How much do I weigh?
June: More than I do, dearie. Does Rudy Valentino have It,
or does he have It?
Ian: Um, he’s got it. Why was this fic’ written?
‘Dagio: An exercise in futility?
Others: Yes!
Ian: That was fun, we should do that again.
>and
felt very, very weak. He flopped down on the bed. He'd just freaked when he'd
seen Ron he'd been exspecting it all day but when he saw Ron looking all hot
and dark and sexy.
Ian: “But when he saw Ron looking all hot and dark
and sexy”... what? You ended the sentence without ending the
thought... “When he saw Ron looking all
hot and dark and sexy he ate a cookie”?
‘Dagio: “He realized that Ron twisted his top and
licked his oreo cream?”
Ian: ... ::sobs:: How, why do you -do- that?
‘Dagio:
I’ve got to do -something- to keep
myself amused.
June: I knit!
::knits more::
>But
also the fact that he knew about his dad about how gross he was and how how how
puthetk he felt hot tears run down his face.
Ian: ::gasps:: The author started skipping, and then her
needle slipped into another groove with a scratch!
>Ron
had already hated him but now.. now
he 'knew' and that was worse. He knew he didn't dusurve Ron but it was nice to
pritend. He didn't even know if Ron liked guys.
‘Dagio: In this fic, everyone likes guys, I’m
sure. I’m just waiting for Mathew to
make a move.
>A knock on the door made him shutter he rolled over to face the wall and
hind his face in his hands.
Ian: It’s the Golden Hind! If we catch it, we’ll be renowned throughout
Narnia!
‘Dagio: ::sounds trumpet::
Boys: ::go looking for
the golden hind, don’t find it, come back::
Ian: ::disappointed:: All we could find were these Draco window
coverings.
>but
who ever it was pushed open the door and came in. Unable to stop himself Draco
sobbed even more, he felt a shift of the matress, and a cold hand on his back
he shivered lightly.
Ian: (Ron) “Draco, I am your father...”
‘Dagio: (Draco) “No!
Noo! NOOOO!”
>"Don't cry Draco, please" Pleaded Ron's sweat voice.
Ian: Ron’s voice dripped with the heady feeling of
sweat and gym socks. Surely, THIS WAS
LOVE.
>Draco
tryed but the tears wouldn't stop. Ron's strong hand turned him over so they
were faceing each other Draco shivered again at Ron's intense Blue/Black eyes.
‘Dagio: Ron ran his hand through Draco’s silvery
platinum golden blonde brown white hair, as Draco stared into Ron’s blue black
grayish violet emerald eyes.
>Ron sighed,"I'm sorry Draco" he said softly,
Ian: (Ron) “But I’m going to have to take you back
to your father for some more...
treatments, it looks like. Your
usefulness has run out, now that the diary has been translated.”
>Draco
staired at him in shock "Why the hell are you sorry Weasly? You saved
me" Draco said flustered.
>"I didn't. He..he.. Draco I know he still
hurt you I don't know how much but I sould have known I should have stoped a
long time ago" Ron said his eye were filled with pain.
‘Dagio: (Ron) “His eye were filled with pain.”
>"Stut up Weasly! You didn't know because none
knew and I don't even know how you manged to do what you did get to the house,
get in the window, throw my dad like a fucking rag doll.'Sob' I don't even know
why you even helped scum like me 'sob' I'm not 'sob' worth it'sob'"
Ian: No, no you’re not...
>Ron looked alittle shocked, "I helped because it was 'you' and you
didn't help your not scum and as for the rest didn't Mathew tell you?"
Draco shook his head.
June: There’s a big sale on posions! Half off on the second Tuesday in months that
have r’s in them!
)()()()()()()
June: ::sings:: Bubbles, pretty bubbles, fade away like my
dreams...
Review What shoud I do what should I do
Ian: Her needle is skipping again...
A)
Make Ron tell Draco and Draco freak
Ian: And flip out like a ninja and kill Ron and
them himself.
B)
Ron not tell Draco right now
June: Not tell him what, dear?
C)
Ron tells Draco Draco is scared but stays as calm as he can and they do the the
whole slash thing now insted of later it's up to you ^__^
‘Dagio: D) The rest of the fic’ isn’t written?
Ian: D.
June: F!
Ian: F?
June: Yes, F. Everyone gets a puppy and they all go
home happy.
‘Dagio: What was E?
June: Oh, there’s -never- an E in these things,
silly.
Ian: ::blinks::
‘Dagio: Anyway...
I’m gonna get out of here while I still can... ::leaves,
and June and Ian follow::
June, Ian,
and ‘Dagio take their seats in the theater.
Ian: Wheee!
One more time!
‘Dagio: I can’t wait.
June: I wonder what letter was choosen...
Ian: ::sadly:: C
June: Darn, I was routing for F. ::sad::
‘Dagio: Oh, look.
It’s starting. Yay.
>Chapter 5 - Prince of
Blood a New Death
Ian: Revolutionary Boy Ron the Vampiric Touch
‘Dagio: Vampires of Lust – Rebirth Amongst the
Flowers
June: A Fish Named Wanda!
>To all of you cowards who
flamed the spelling with out even leaving a name I say this "Bock, bock
brgock"
‘Dagio: Heh.
She’s calling us big cocks.
Ian: ...
June: I’m a hen!
>and for everyone else I
got spell check isn't perfect but better then nothing right.
Ian: ...
‘Dagio: ...
June: Cake, anyone?
::passes out cake::
Ian: YAY! ::dances::
>Ron Sighed "Draco I.. I'm not. I'm not just a wizard any more I'm not
even human" Draco looked shocked by this but just looked at him sadly
"Then what are you Ron?" He asked softly.
‘Dagio: (Ron) “My...
my real name is... Oscar,
and... I’m a cat loving hermaphrodite... I hope you can still love me.”
>Ron looked down and away from his angle "I'm a demon Draco a fucking
vampire"
Ian: So he’s a demon Draco?
‘Dagio: Yup, like Draco, only worse and more gothy.
>He looked at Draco he'd
stopped crying but was still deadly pail. Ron smelled
sadness, fear and pain in Draco right then.
Ian: Alright, when did being a vampire give you
the ablility to smell emotions? Really? Ron is smelling emotions all over the place! What sort of vampire did he turn into? The rare nosey strain?
>Draco pretty shocked at this but at the same time he wasn't it sort of fit.
‘Dagio: Good to know that Draco wasn’t ‘it’ being Ron
the vampire, or this just turns into total
masturbation.
June: Adagio!
I remember from when you were a little boy, and when you took your
sister’s Saint Cards, and hid them in the refrigerator, I always knew that you
had a foul mind, but this! ::scolds, shakes finger::
‘Dagio: ::uncomphortable:: How does she know about that?
>"It figures I love
some one and something bad happens to them." Draco said mostly to himself.
>"What!?!" Ron screamed.
Ian: (Ron) “You love me? You little jerk! I hate you!
I’ve always hated you! Everything
that’s ever happened in the books has shown me to hate you!”
>Draco winced."Sorry
I shouldn't have said anything" a fresh tear ran down his cheek.
‘Dagio: Draco likes crying, doesn’t he? I think we can see who’s
the guy in -this- relationship.
>Ron shook his head
"Did you Draco Malfoy just say you loved me?" he asked in shock.
Ian: (Draco) “Yes, I, Draco Malfoy, just professed
my love for you, Ron Weasley, Ron,” said Draco in tears, his pretty girl-hair
plastered to his face.
‘Dagio: Crap!
Here comes the lemon-slash!
Ian: ::covers June’s
eyes with a blindfold::
June: What’s going on? I can’t see...
Ian: It’s for the best, June. We’ll uncover your eyes once it’s all over.
‘Dagio: Its too much for a
lady to witness, I’m afraid.
> Draco nodded and looked
back at the wall Ron grabbed his face and made him look at him "I love you
too you little git"
Ian: (Draco) “He called me a git! That must mean he luvs me!”
>He said,
"Really?" Draco said in shock. To answer his question he leaned in
and took Draco's lips in a kiss Draco opened his mouth and let Ron deepen the
kiss. Draco moaned as Ron's tongue crested every inch of his mouth.
‘Dagio: His tongue then colgated, and then listerined
Draco’s mouth.
>Ron's cold hands slid up
Draco's white shirt hungrily
Ian: Suddenly, Ron gave into the hunger, and he
killed Draco. The End.
>Draco laid back and let
Ron have full advantage of him he closed his eyes as Ron trailed kisses down
his cheek to his jawbone then down his neck. Ron licks and kissed Draco's soft
sweat little neck then he ripped open Draco's shirt and ran his tongue up and
down Draco's chest, Draco moaned and wriggled under Ron enjoying it.
‘Dagio: (Ron) “I have only loved you for at most an
hour, but now I shall have sex with you, just because I can.”
Ian: Said the boy who pays women for sex.
‘Dagio: Ah, but I’m in it for the sex, Ron and Draco
are apparently in it for the love.
There’s a big difference.
Ian: Manwhore.
‘Dagio: Prick.
>Ron began to suckle Draco's nipple
Ian: Manoobs!
>getting whimpers and
cries of pleasure Draco arched his back as Ron moved to his over nipple.
‘Dagio: Just above his under-nipple, and beside the
next-to-nipple.
>"Ron Oh.. Ron" Draco moaned heatedly.
Ian: My God!
Draco is in heat! LOOK OUT RON,
YOU WILL GET HIM PREGNANT AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LITTER!
>Ron moved further down Draco's chest kissing his way he dipped his tong in
to Draco's bellybutton
Ian: His -tong- ?
What sort of bizarre slang is that?
‘Dagio: I think it’s related to those dog tungs from earlier in the fic’.
>then leaned up to kiss
Draco's already kiss swollen lips.
‘Dagio: A bee had stung them
just minutes after the collagen injection.
>"Your so hot Draco, you
drive me crazy" Ron purred to Draco who moaned.
Ian: (Draco) “WHY AM I IN THIS FIC?”
>Ron's Hands slipped down to Draco's pants zipper, Draco went rigged
Ian: Oh dear God, oh dear God, oh dear God, oh
dear God...
‘Dagio: I don’t suppose this would be the place to
make a big-rig joke, now would it?
Ian: NO!
June: What’s going on? What’s happening?
Both: Nothing!
>"Ron, Ron stop"
Ron looked up at Draco's face he looked terrified, he smells it to.
‘Dagio: Dude, who cut one?
>"What's wrong?" Ron asked scared he'd hurt his little angle with
out meaning to.
Ian: (Ron) “Oh my dear little angle, you’re so
acute!”
‘Dagio: At least he isn’t being obtuse about it.
Ian: Yes, but then again, you -know- that his
characterization isn’t about to be right.
‘Dagio: No, of course not, that would be
complimentary.
>"Nothing, b..but we're going to fast."
Draco said he sounded choked up to Ron.
‘Dagio: (Draco) “You see, because of my abnormally
low amounts of testosterone, I can’t, you know... more than once a month... How’s the 23rd for you?”
>"Sorry my little Angle, I got carried away." Ron said feeling
terrible that he'd frightened Draco. Ron laid down next to Draco who curled
into his chest, "It's okay Ron, we just need to go a little slower, okay"
Draco said softly. "Okay, what ever you want"
‘Dagio: (Ron) “Lousy little bastard won’t put out,
I’m so dumping him for Neville.”
Ian: Ewwww...
>Ron said and meant it he
didn't know why but the mere thought of Draco upset tore at his soul. Ron began
running his fingers threw Draco's hair.
Ian: A bird cryed in the windowsill. The end of the nite was approaching quickly,
and Ron could only think of eating. What
came next was swift and merciless. Draco
never knew what hit him. And afterwards, necro.
>A scream from down stairs sent Ron flying down the steps at an inhuman
speed.
Ian: WHEEEE!
‘Dagio: I think it’s safe for June, now. ::takes off the
blindfold::
June: Thank you, dear! What did I miss?
Ian: Nothing, apparently.
June: Alright.
^_^
>Ron threw open the shop door and saw a man dressed in all black holding
Mathew off the ground like he was a feather. The man smelled of old blood and
death, a Vampire. Ron in one swift move snatched Mathew and threw the
man/Vampire into the wall all under 4 seconds.
Ian: A new record, ladies and gentlemen!
‘Dagio: Amazing how amazing Ron is now that he’s a
young vampire. He’s totally kicking this
old vampire’s butt, and he’s only been a vampire for less than a week.
>"Mathew? What the
hell!?!" Ron yells, Mathew still dazed
yelled back "He's looking for you!" The Vampire had gotten to his
feet. And was smelling the air.
Ian: Really?
What is it with smelling? Someone? Anyone,
explain?
>"She was right. You are." The Vampire said in a hiss. Ron now was
completely pissed.
Ian: Crap, the fic’ is rhyming
now.
‘Dagio: (Ron) “I’ll fight you tonight! With all of my might!
You’ll
become vampire stew, when I’m through with you!”
>"What the hell are you talking about?" He yelled at him. The
vampire inclined his head "My apologies, I am being rude. I am Rowel
keeper of the tells of the empire,
Ian: He’s a Jedi Holocron!
>I
am here to present this 'He motions to a plain silver star neckless he's
wearing' to Prince Bloodintence' shei shell.
June: Are those words?
Ian: No.
>You." He said,
>"uh?" Ron replied smartly.
‘Dagio: Once again, our
reactions exactly.
>Rowel
held out the neckless
Ian: Eww!
He has a person with no neck!
>to
Ron who took it gold words appeared on it
June: Twenty-three skidoo!
>Rowel
grinned "I Knew it Shadow knows her blood. My prince I am at your
service" Rowel said bowing to Ron.
Ian: Yay, he was looking for Ron. Who’s been a vampire for all of four days now.
‘Dagio: Also, he is the prince of vampires.
Ian: Yes.
>"Okay..." Ron said
backing away from Rowel "So what does that mean?" he asked looking at
Mathew who was seated on the steps Mathew shrugged.
‘Dagio: (Mathew) “Last week it was goblins and the
archduke of gobligoboly, and this week its vampires, I just don’t give a damn
anymore.”
>"It means I'm your servant my prince." Rowel said. Ron looked
down at the neckless shook his head and looked back at Rowel. "Okay Rowel,
why am I this prince guy not 2 weeks ago I was a fucken shadow
Ian: When was Ron a shadow?
‘Dagio: You know, in that one time before this, two
weeks ago. It totally happened.
>I'm
not so sure you got the right guy." Ron said, Rowel
chuckled.
>"My prince we nightwalkers have watched you since you were born you
were fore seen to come and that star is how I'm sure. You were fore seen as the
greatest Vampire of all time, You are to change the
word for our kind.
Ian: (Rowel) “And we did all of this without your
wizard parents noticing at all! We’re
sneaky, we are.”
>And
I am one of your loyal servants" Rowel said, Ron come smell that this guy
was telling the truth.
Ian: ::cries:: SMELLING THE TRUTH?
>"Okay, I'm changing the word alright I'm making the fucking cure"
June: Such horrid language! You had best change that word to something
better like ‘wonderful’ or perhaps ‘nice’.
>Ron
spat at the vampire to his surprise the vampire grinned at him "I hope you
do sir, 98 years is anuff for me"
Ian: 98 years of waiting for Ron? Dang, this guy must be bored.
>Rowel
said, Ron was taken back by this. He picked up the
diary from the counter and shoved it into Rowel's hands "Alright it's
weird enough to believe and I can since truth in what you say so help Mathew
translate this." Ron started up the steps but stopped and added "And
if you hurt one hair on his head I'll make you scream for death, got it?"
He heard a faint 'yes sir' as he climbed the steps.
‘Dagio:
(Ron) “I’m so
badass, I can even say badass now.”
>Draco was sitting on the edge of the bed it was as far as he dared go for
fear that his father was the calse of the scream.
Ian: Something tells me that the spellcheck wasn’t
always used in this fic’...
>Draco
was worried for both Mathew and Ron but couldn't move for the door. He burst
into tears of relief when Ron burst into the room he ran over and grabbed him
in to a hug.
‘Dagio: (Draco) “I am girly and afraid! Help me you big dark strong vampire, you!”
>"What Happened?" He asked.
Ian: God, is that you?
‘Dagio: I’m fairly certain that even the Almighty
would have troubles figuring out this situation.
Ian: No kidding.
>Ron
sighed into his hair, "A lot angle, a lot" Ron picked him up and
carried him over to the bed and cuddled him tell he felt like a teddy bear.
Ian: Ron gutted Draco, and replaced his insides
with cotton stuffing, and then took his eyes out and replaced them with glass
ones. “There,” Ron said to himself,
smiling, “now he’ll always be here with me.”
‘Dagio: Feeling a little dark today, Ian?
Ian: Yes, thank you.
>"Is Mathew okay Ron?" Draco asked worrying over why the vampire
was acting so odd.
>"Mathew's fine and I got some body else to translate the diary"
Ron said playing with his hair.
Ian: (Ron) “Should I perm it,
or just get it cut?”
>"What?" Draco asked confused as hell
now, Ron told him what had happened.
June: Is he going to explain it for us?
Ian: No, dear.
June: Well, Betty and I are confused as to the
plot...
‘Dagio: There is none.
June: Well, isn’t that better?
>"So your the prince of blood now?" Draco asked,
Ian: (Ron) “I AM THE QUEEEEN OF
>"HU?"
All: ::hacking coughs::
>"Bloodtence' shei shell means Blood of new death"
Ian: Sanguine Recent Termination!
>"Morbid title uh?"
June: Oh, I don’t know, Ian’s sounds nice enough to
me.
>"Yes" Draco giggled as Ron started nibbling his neck.
‘Dagio: Rupturing the jugular, slaying Draco
instantly.
>:::::::::::
June: Crosswalk!
>Next chapter up soon
Ian: That means it isn’t up now!
‘Dagio: Yay!
Ian: I’m outta here...
All: ::Exuent::